sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
