shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize