SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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