...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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