We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You're a waste of cheezeits
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
