I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
