I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
