i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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