You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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