that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
