Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
