Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
