people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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