We're facebook friends in real life
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.