Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.