i already hear my dad disowning me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Fuck appropriateness.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
