you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
