I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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