Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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