Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's like iHOP with fire
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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