ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
