I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
