No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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