Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
