those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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