I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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