Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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