i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
