If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
