don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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