the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize