oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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