I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
