I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
