I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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