I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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