apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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