this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize