so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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