i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize