life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
