Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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