i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
