sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You can't just leave with hair like that
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
