Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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