So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
