are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
