His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
