yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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