At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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