1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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