to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
