Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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