he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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