i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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