I want to have your abortion
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
