I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
someone owes me an orgasm
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."