Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

Fav 9 1732 4209
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?

Fav 20 5193 1147
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets

Fav 6 1878 1101
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl

Fav 7 3323 1231
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser

Fav 5 685 1248
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

Fav 3 1500 718
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Fav 6 2371 782
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs

Fav 1 364 587
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list

Fav 0 42 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT