a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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