fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again