I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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