Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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