I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
