I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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