His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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