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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
