Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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