don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize