i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
