Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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