Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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