Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
