Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize