Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
