At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
