By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
