I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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