like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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