I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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